Monday Motivation: Let Go! It’s A New Year

What do you do when you make a mistake> Are you like many people who beat themselves up when they commit an error or make an unwise decision? Does your inner critic chastise you, pointing out wrongs that you may have committed? It’s a New Year, Let Go!

The key to good mental health and well-being is to be able to learn from our mistakes and then let go.  As humans, we will make mistakes for as long as we remain conscious and alive.  Even airplanes are off course a significant amount of time and must be corrected by the pilot.  The key to our well-being is to refrain from focusing on what we did or did not do but focus on what we should learn from the mistake and what can be done to correct it.  When you make a mistake, take responsibility for being human and seek corrective action.  Focus on what is to be learned from the situation.  If it is a mater of carelessness, decide to change future practices and be more attentive to what you are doing.  When the critical inner mind starts that old tape of “how dumb that was, what an idiot you are” or other such counter-productive self talk in your mind (or out loud, if you can do so) yell “STOP IT” to turn off that tape.  If you see yourself in that negative light, mimic your television viewing habits and change the channel to a more positive one.

If you have or could have harmed someone with your mistake, own up to it, make amends by apologizing, learn the lesson, commit to not repeating it, and then let go.  If you feel the need to continue to play that old tape, ask yourself what need is getting met by engaging in this negative self talk and then ask yourself why you have a need to “beat yourself up”.  Replace that need with the desire to be kind to yourself. Grasp an understanding that the emotional energy spent on being unkind to yourself could be better spent finding a solution to any problem that was created by our mistake.

According to National Geographic Studies, often monkeys are captured by the “yam in a jar technique.” People who wish to capture them do so with the knowledge that once the monkey sticks its hand in the jar to retrieve the yam, it will not let go.  The neck of the jar is so narrow that the monkey’s empty hand can enter it but its full hand cannot exit the jar.  The monkey is effectively trapped and must suffer the consequences when it stubbornly refuses to let go.

As humans, we have intellect to recognize that we continue to trap ourselves when we refuse to let go of negativity.  We have control over the choices we make.  Choose to let go!

Affirmation for the week:  “I will learn from my  mistakes and then let go”

Have a living, learning, and letting go week & Happy New Year!

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Ty’s Monday Messages. All Rights Reserved.

Unbeweavable!

 Katrina Spencer has a hit! Beautifully written, Unbeweavable was impossible to put down. Light and funny, yet poignant and touching–a very creative novel. Mrs. Spencer is an author to look out for.

~Essence bestselling author Victoria Christopher Murray~

While on vacation I always try to find a good read for the travel. Which made me think of some of my past travel novels especially those that pertain to health and beauty.  This holiday travel season, I was able to read “Unbeweavable”.  The second novel by Author Katrina Spencer.  Unbeweavable takes on the issues of weave and natural hair.  This is the story of Mariah Stevens, a successful woman forced to tackle issues of self-confidence, self-love, and self-acceptance. A great read.

The Author, Katrina Spencer, transitioned from hairstylist to author.  She always knew that she would not be able to do hair for the rest of her life.  She suffers from sickle-cell anemia and the standing on her feet all day did a number to her body.  She came from a creative family where everyone had to do something with their hands growing up.  As a hairstylist she always strived for healthy hair.  However, She specializes in weave.

THE BIG DEBATE

Lately, there’s been plenty of backlash against weaves, relaxers, and even makeup.   Relaxers are now seen as damaging. It sort of makes me sad actually.  I believe that relaxers are not damaging to the hair, it is the improper use of relaxers that are damaging.  Women should never perform their own relaxers or colors. They should be applied by trained professionals.  I think weaves on the other hand is a woman’s prerogative.  So it bothers me to know that women are attacking each other over their choice of hairstyle.  Natural hair does not mean healthy hair.  Healthy hair should be every woman’s goal and criticizing another woman because she wants her hair straight or judging someone for rocking an Afro is truly sad.  How do you feel about that?

Honestly, it’s not a new issue within the state of the womans address.  Think back to Spike Lee “School Daze” scene “Wanna Bees” Vs “Jigga Boos”. Good or Bad Hair is not decided by weaves, relaxers, or natural.  It’s up to each individual to choose their hairstyles.  Some of us choose hairstyle that fit our face. Some of us choose hairstyles that fit our budgets and lifestyle.  No woman should be bullied into going natural or criticized because she likes to wear weaves.  We should celebrate our differences and stop back lashing at each other.  This behavior is even affecting our daughters and we surely don’t want them to grow up having a complex about their hair.

Written By: T. Dash

Monday Motivation Message

Success is not a secret.  Success is a direction, a process and a way of life.  You can be successful right now.  Just simply turn your focus, your thoughts, your awareness, and actions in a positive mental direction.  Success is not something you get.  Success is all about the way you choose to live.  Success is the journey and not the end of the road.  You must dream in order to reach your success.  Every dream must have plan.  Dream without limits and act on those dreams.  Live without excuses or apologies, they are bridges to nowhere.   Always dream with a persistent driving desire to make a difference. 

Stay in touch with your integrity.  What can help is to challenge all or nothing thinking.  Sometimes it can seem that if you can’t do things right or all the way, it’s a non-accomplishment.  Integrity is built from a pattern of small and consistent actions.  Little changes can indeed build into big changes.  Positivity really does work.  Stay focused.  Have A Great Week

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Copyright 2011 by Ty’s Monday Messages.  All rights reserved.

The Drivers Seat

“If you want more it takes courage. On your journey to achieving more, see your goal as your vehicle. The driver is the most courageous person in any vehicle. You will come across pedestrians, hitch hikers, and other motorist while on the road.  All are alike in one way, they can be viewed as motivators or manipulators.  You have the choice to be manipulated or motivated.  Stay in the driver seat.

Pedestrians: are not in your vehicle but will always be able to view the road to your success.  In this case, there would be no success without critics. You have to respect the fact that they will be there. Some pedestrians are on the road for leisure and others are on a journey of their own. All pedestrians from a glance can view you inside your vehicle.  Remember the fact you are driving.  Push the gas and drive past.

Hitch Hikers: are not in your vehicle but will want a ride. Some may come across as friendly, ambitious, and compassionate which is great. Most hitch hikers really don’t know where they’re going and need you for a boost. The interesting thing about hitch hikers is that once they make their way into your vehicle, they feel they know everything ‘which is typical’ but if they knew everything, they would have their own vehicle right? Read between the lines. Hitch hikers will try to take over your vehicle for their OWN purpose if you let them. Stay in the driver seat. You have the choice to stop or not to stop.

Other Motorist: are not in your vehicle but have a vehicle of their own. Other motorist are what makes the journey worth the challenge. Now, not only do you have to watch the road but you have to watch out for other vehicles as well. Defensive driving! There will be motorist with vehicles similar to yours which is great. You should always want to share and grow on your journey. Although, not every motorist wants to share the road to success. Don’t Fret. Even if it means taking the road less traveled, keep driving!

You will encounter stop signs, road blocks, and traffic lights on the road to achieving your goals. Circumstances in a nutshell. The fact remains the same. Don’t let anything stop you. Pedestrians, hitch hikers, and other motorist alike!  Have A Great Week”

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Copyright 2011 by Ty’s Monday Messages.  All rights reserved.

Winning Wednesday

Great Day! Everyday is a great day if you choose to make it that way. Be optimistic while expecting nothing but the best starting today.

You were created to achieve your greatest self, to do it without fear, and to live out your life purpose.  Greatness begins in the mind.  Never let others belittle your ambitions.  Great minds will always encounter opposition from mediocre minds.  It’s a known fact! It’s hard for a diamond to shine in a rhinestone world.  Whether it be the boss, your co-workers, nay sayers, haters, family, or friends.  Always be a first-rate version of yourself and never let anyone define you.  One thing about having an optimistic mind is that so many will try to destroy you.  Over and over coming in your periods of greatness, trying to get under you skin.  That’s Great!  Be calm. Be cautious.  Also, Keep moving and proving that you will not be broken.  Remember! A diamond don’t need permission to shine.  Everyday is a great day if you choose to make it that way.

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Written By: T. Dash

Monday Motivation Message

“The storms of nature just like the storms in our lives are unpredictable and inevitable. We sometimes assume that there will be elements of life over which we have no control. Never assume! If we are prepared for elements presenting themselves in our daily lives (some of which we may control), we can weather the storms.

Some of our personal storms are preventable because we create them through our actions and thoughts. For those that are preventable, it is important that we assess how and to what extent we create these events. Often we can minimize the damage or in many cases eliminate the storms altogether through our thoughts! I was once told “you think too much”. At first, I took this a bad compliment until I realized its not how much you think but what you think that can make all the difference.

Think positive! Enjoy the sunshine and think good weather conditions into existence. Always strive to create calmer conditions in your life. Do damage control! Remove yourself emotionally from areas where your exposed to rain spawned from storms created by others!! Nevertheless, always be prepared to weather the storms of your creation and take responsibility for creating them. Have a calm and sunny week.”~Ty

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Copyright 2011 by Ty’s Monday Messages. All rights reserved.

 
 

Determination

Life is a journey. You have to work extremely hard to pursue your dreams because you will be faced with obstacles on every level of your journey. You will encounter people who doubt your talents and intelligence. You cannot determine your future based on your current circumstances. You cannot base your life decisions on others opinions whether they be family or friends. I know that we all want the support of our friends and families, but, sometimes, you have to step out on faith and do what is in the best interest of you, for the most important person that need to believe in and satisfy you, is yourself. You have to remain prayerful and determined; but, most importantly, you have to be patient. You have to learn along the way. Keep an open mind. Be a sponge and soak up the good and the bad because in the end it will catapult you into a better and stronger individual.

At times we have asked ourselves, “how come they made it and not me” or “what am I doing wrong”. I know it is easier said then done to suggest that we should not ask ourselves such questions, but, honestly, we will know when it is our time. At that very moment, when everything seem like it is going wrong and you feel hopeless and helpless, everything that you dreamt of, everything that you worked for and everything that you prayed for will start falling into place. Never give up. Keep the faith. Stay determined and focused on what it is that you want in life. Maintain that tunnel vision because the light at the end of the tunnel will guide you and keep you focused. Be that resilient person you know you can be. At the end of the day it is not about how many times you have fallen rather how many times you have gotten back up and kept trying. As the saying goes, “it is better to have tried and failed then to not have tried at all”.

Written by: Veronica N. Montgomery

A Soul Mate

A lot of people believe in the concept of  soul mate but we still pick people based on appearances and other artificial things.  At least at first. Is this human nature? or a wave in the frequency of human nature?  Every person has a frequency they resonate at and most people who have studied human nature all agree on this.  When two frequencies are resonating together just right is where some say soul mates come from.  When this happens it can create some amazing effects.  Appearances has nothing to do with the frequency of human nature.  Base your finding of a soul mate on appearances and you are sure to end up lonely.

The loneliest days can be some of the worst days anyone can come across.  Every one has felt loneliness but not everyone has felt true love in finding a soul mate.  I know I haven’t, well that’s what I assume.  Many of us confuse being lost in love with finding a soul mate. See, love works in so many ways. It brings happiness, yet it can bring sadness to so many as well. I’ve seen so many friends and families shed tears about being madly in love, that I’m scared to feel that way for anyone. The pain and heart-break they feel in their hearts could never be truly repaired, because the one person who they fell completely head over heels for broke their hearts.  I know it’s a feeling that makes you whole and it feels like nothing could ever come between two hearts that are meant to be together. 

Some times we might fall in love with the wrong soul mate, the wrong heart. Blinded by money, appearances, or so many other artificial things that don’t really matter, can change love.  Love isn’t about the amount of things you own or have, it’s about the heart and the soul.  Finding that one person who’s soul is compatible to yours.  I know everyone wants that perfect Cinderella moment, but in reality things like that might not ever even come close to happening. Love. A four letter word that means so much to so many.  But there’s one thing I want to tell every woman and girl out there.  Never lose hope. Your soul mate is out there somewhere doing the same thing you are, waiting for you.

Written By: T. Dash

Just Write

Everyone has a story,  have you written yours?  If you can write a sentence, you can write a story. You may ask yourself, “How Do I Write”. You are not alone and this is a question that many writers ask themselves one time or another. whether you are just beginning, advanced, or just experiencing writers block, one thing can be understood;  All writings begin with one word.   So if you ask, “How do I write?” Your answer is one word at a time.

You may want to write and may be experiencing fear of failure.  Do you ask yourself “What will I write about?” or “Will it be good enough?” If so, STOP.  The fact that you are asking yourself these simple questions are red flags to your success.  Start with one word and let your creative juices flow. Once you begin to write, what to write about will be the  least of your worries. Everyone wants to provide a good read; however, understand there are different strokes for different folks.  Everyone will not approve or enjoy your writing .  Do not doubt your talents.  Stick to your story or genre and just write. 

How to write good? The first set of rules was written by Frank L. Visco and originally published in the June 1986 issue of Writers’ digest.  The second set of rules comes from William Safire‘s Rules for Writers. Rules are Rules. Writing comes from the soul. What you think, feel, and experience will make your read exactly what it is, your read. No set of rules can compare or measure up to the depths of your soul.  Write by your own rules. How do you write? One word at a time.

How did you feel after you completed your first read? (It could be a blog, short story, novel, or school paper)

What does it take for you to start writing?

Do you criticize your own work?

Do you have a fear of what others may think about your writing?

Written By: T. Dash

Do You Believe In You?

 It is normal for someone else to believe in you and your powers but do you believe in you? Your thoughts and your belief system are two of a kind.  When you change your thoughts, you change your belief system.  You must believe in all that you are, all that you can be, and all that you will be.  If the mind can conceive it, you can achieve it.  Do you believe in what you think?  What you think is what you get so use your thoughts wisely.  Your future is in your hands.

Belief is faith, belief is hope, belief is trust, and its all about you.  With this understanding, you have the power to win and influence others to believe in you.  Yes, you can say belief is life’s most powerful and secret weapon.  Use it to your advantage.  This is the magnet of the universe working at its best.  Although, believing in you is just the beginning stage of being great. It takes practice, it takes patience, and it take genuine respect for others to make the circle complete.  When you believe in you, others are drawn to you. Naturally, you  become genuinely interested in other people’s ‘well-being’.  When you look in the mirror what do you see? Smile, you are The One. 

When you Believe in you, you have the strength and the ability to make others feel important.  Be a good listener, encourage others and have no fear.  Fear is the greatest barrier to success. Fear only fear itself.  Sometimes it may become obvious that goals can not be reached. This is not the time for you to change your goals but change your action plan.  You are at the house of success. If you knock and can not get in the front door, go through the back, and if the back door is locked, try a window.  No matter how long it takes, make it your business to get in by any means necessary. It is your destiny.  Be victorious, Be triumphant, Believe in you. 

 “To move ahead you need to believe in yourself…have conviction in your beliefs and the confidence to execute those beliefs.” -Adlin Sinclair

Written By: T. Dash