Unbeweavable!

 Katrina Spencer has a hit! Beautifully written, Unbeweavable was impossible to put down. Light and funny, yet poignant and touching–a very creative novel. Mrs. Spencer is an author to look out for.

~Essence bestselling author Victoria Christopher Murray~

While on vacation I always try to find a good read for the travel. Which made me think of some of my past travel novels especially those that pertain to health and beauty.  This holiday travel season, I was able to read “Unbeweavable”.  The second novel by Author Katrina Spencer.  Unbeweavable takes on the issues of weave and natural hair.  This is the story of Mariah Stevens, a successful woman forced to tackle issues of self-confidence, self-love, and self-acceptance. A great read.

The Author, Katrina Spencer, transitioned from hairstylist to author.  She always knew that she would not be able to do hair for the rest of her life.  She suffers from sickle-cell anemia and the standing on her feet all day did a number to her body.  She came from a creative family where everyone had to do something with their hands growing up.  As a hairstylist she always strived for healthy hair.  However, She specializes in weave.

THE BIG DEBATE

Lately, there’s been plenty of backlash against weaves, relaxers, and even makeup.   Relaxers are now seen as damaging. It sort of makes me sad actually.  I believe that relaxers are not damaging to the hair, it is the improper use of relaxers that are damaging.  Women should never perform their own relaxers or colors. They should be applied by trained professionals.  I think weaves on the other hand is a woman’s prerogative.  So it bothers me to know that women are attacking each other over their choice of hairstyle.  Natural hair does not mean healthy hair.  Healthy hair should be every woman’s goal and criticizing another woman because she wants her hair straight or judging someone for rocking an Afro is truly sad.  How do you feel about that?

Honestly, it’s not a new issue within the state of the womans address.  Think back to Spike Lee “School Daze” scene “Wanna Bees” Vs “Jigga Boos”. Good or Bad Hair is not decided by weaves, relaxers, or natural.  It’s up to each individual to choose their hairstyles.  Some of us choose hairstyle that fit our face. Some of us choose hairstyles that fit our budgets and lifestyle.  No woman should be bullied into going natural or criticized because she likes to wear weaves.  We should celebrate our differences and stop back lashing at each other.  This behavior is even affecting our daughters and we surely don’t want them to grow up having a complex about their hair.

Written By: T. Dash

Monday Motivation Message

Success is not a secret.  Success is a direction, a process and a way of life.  You can be successful right now.  Just simply turn your focus, your thoughts, your awareness, and actions in a positive mental direction.  Success is not something you get.  Success is all about the way you choose to live.  Success is the journey and not the end of the road.  You must dream in order to reach your success.  Every dream must have plan.  Dream without limits and act on those dreams.  Live without excuses or apologies, they are bridges to nowhere.   Always dream with a persistent driving desire to make a difference. 

Stay in touch with your integrity.  What can help is to challenge all or nothing thinking.  Sometimes it can seem that if you can’t do things right or all the way, it’s a non-accomplishment.  Integrity is built from a pattern of small and consistent actions.  Little changes can indeed build into big changes.  Positivity really does work.  Stay focused.  Have A Great Week

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Copyright 2011 by Ty’s Monday Messages.  All rights reserved.

Holiday Fever: Tradition Vs Profit

When you think of the  winter holidays, Thanksgiving would normally be the start of the season.  Sadly, Thanksgiving has practically been boiled down to Black Friday Eve.  Its truly a day for Providing food,  fun, and no shopping pressure that comes with the Christmas season that also has lost much of its true meaning.  It seems that we’re all losing the sight of enjoying the coming of not only Christmas, but many holidays and seasons, sacred or secular. Back to school items on sale even before school’s out in June, Halloween and Fall items late July. Valentines right after Christmas, then Easter items out right after February 14th.

This year, some stores and homeowners got into the Christmas spirit the day after Labor Day. Maybe next year they can string up their lights right after July 4th?   What happened to the holidays?  Sadly, by the time we get to the actual holiday these days, most of the joy has gone out of it from all the overload and pressure, and can’t wait until it’s over.  I also loved and really miss the olden days, when the Christmas season was hardly thought of until after Thanksgiving weekend.  It was really exciting as everyone then started decorating, the carols began, winter activities, shopping etc.
An awesome build up to the 25th that is long gone. 

It seems the holiday season spending has been a profit scheme in the making for many years and has manifested due to today’s struggling economy issues and concerns.  Stores are finding it more and more difficult to make a profit.  If you owned a struggling business, would you push a huge selling season earlier?  Consumer spending is 70% of the economy.  Sadly, Spend Spend Spend is the economy’s new motto.  Even if your up to your neck in debt.

The Drivers Seat

“If you want more it takes courage. On your journey to achieving more, see your goal as your vehicle. The driver is the most courageous person in any vehicle. You will come across pedestrians, hitch hikers, and other motorist while on the road.  All are alike in one way, they can be viewed as motivators or manipulators.  You have the choice to be manipulated or motivated.  Stay in the driver seat.

Pedestrians: are not in your vehicle but will always be able to view the road to your success.  In this case, there would be no success without critics. You have to respect the fact that they will be there. Some pedestrians are on the road for leisure and others are on a journey of their own. All pedestrians from a glance can view you inside your vehicle.  Remember the fact you are driving.  Push the gas and drive past.

Hitch Hikers: are not in your vehicle but will want a ride. Some may come across as friendly, ambitious, and compassionate which is great. Most hitch hikers really don’t know where they’re going and need you for a boost. The interesting thing about hitch hikers is that once they make their way into your vehicle, they feel they know everything ‘which is typical’ but if they knew everything, they would have their own vehicle right? Read between the lines. Hitch hikers will try to take over your vehicle for their OWN purpose if you let them. Stay in the driver seat. You have the choice to stop or not to stop.

Other Motorist: are not in your vehicle but have a vehicle of their own. Other motorist are what makes the journey worth the challenge. Now, not only do you have to watch the road but you have to watch out for other vehicles as well. Defensive driving! There will be motorist with vehicles similar to yours which is great. You should always want to share and grow on your journey. Although, not every motorist wants to share the road to success. Don’t Fret. Even if it means taking the road less traveled, keep driving!

You will encounter stop signs, road blocks, and traffic lights on the road to achieving your goals. Circumstances in a nutshell. The fact remains the same. Don’t let anything stop you. Pedestrians, hitch hikers, and other motorist alike!  Have A Great Week”

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Copyright 2011 by Ty’s Monday Messages.  All rights reserved.

Winning Wednesday

Great Day! Everyday is a great day if you choose to make it that way. Be optimistic while expecting nothing but the best starting today.

You were created to achieve your greatest self, to do it without fear, and to live out your life purpose.  Greatness begins in the mind.  Never let others belittle your ambitions.  Great minds will always encounter opposition from mediocre minds.  It’s a known fact! It’s hard for a diamond to shine in a rhinestone world.  Whether it be the boss, your co-workers, nay sayers, haters, family, or friends.  Always be a first-rate version of yourself and never let anyone define you.  One thing about having an optimistic mind is that so many will try to destroy you.  Over and over coming in your periods of greatness, trying to get under you skin.  That’s Great!  Be calm. Be cautious.  Also, Keep moving and proving that you will not be broken.  Remember! A diamond don’t need permission to shine.  Everyday is a great day if you choose to make it that way.

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Written By: T. Dash

BET: ‘Reed Between The Lines’

I have watched a couple of episodes of ‘Reed Between The Lines’. I can’t say that I’m a fan. It seems as if the show is an attempt to recreate the Cosby’s but with a more modern-day sort-of twist. But, I have just an itty bitty little minor critique. I understand the importance of creating a show depicting African-Americans in a positive manner because our television screens are inundated with g-string gyrating video chicks, but…right now…based on what I’m seeing…it’s…um…BORING. I’m sorry. I have to be honest. I want to be entertained. I want to laugh. I want to learn. I want to ENJOY what I’m watching. I want a funny, realistic, positive yet JUICY show. Instead, I feel like I’m watching PAINT DRY. There are some semi funny scenes but nothing worth remembering. I need a LOT more humph in the writing so the characters can be more appealing, funny and relatable. The only interesting aspect of the show are Carla’s CLOTHES!!! I must admit that is the reason why I tuned in again because I wanted to see what she will be wearing. However, for all of you ‘Reed Between The Lines’ lovers, I will continue to watch and support, but if they don’t get it together they will get a Damon Waynes and David Allen Grier…’HATED IT’ two snaps and a circle with a twist vote from ME!!!

Written By: Veronica N. Montgomery

Love and Hip Hop Season Premiere

I am certain that everyone tuned into the season premiere of ‘Love and Hip Hop’. I was amazed at the drama that unfolded being that it was the first episode. I didn’t anticipate on seeing hair pulling and bleeped out crouches on the FIRST episode. I assumed it would be the usual, Emily crying over a relationship she never had with Fabulous, Chrissy still complaining that she doesn’t have a ring from Jim Jones, Olivia still trying to market herself as a vocalist and Somaya trying to ummm…rap…yeah. LOL

What do you guys think about momma Jones diss track?  I must admit it was borderline disrespectful because it’s adding fuel to the fire in regards to her and Chrissy relationship, but it surely is heightening the curiosity of intrigued viewers. That part of the episode will definitely have me watching the episodes to come because I want to know if there will be more songs and if there will finally be a physical confrontation between Chrissy and momma Jones. But, I doubt that Jim Jones will ever let it go that far. But, lets admit it….it would be JUICY!!! What’s up with Jim Jones “loosing” his ring? WTF!!! Where they do that at? One word…hmmmmm!!!!

Was Chrissy wrong for attacking Kimbella? YES!!! She was totally out-of-pocket. I understand hood codes and the unwritten rule that we are to stick up for our friends and be down for whatever and whenever. But, Emily did not get upset or wanted to fight Kimbella. So, why did Chrissy felt froggy and dare attack Kimbella? Emily may not have known Fabulous cheated on her with Kimbella but hell she knew there were several woman so what’s the fight about? LOL. That was a battle that should have been fought by Emily and NOT Chrissy. Now, Kimbella made a poor choice in using that place and time to share such information but that does not give Chrissy the justification to attack her. It seems like Chrissy is trying to become the Nene Leaks and Tammi “hoodrat” Romain of ‘Love and Hip Hop’.

What do you guys think? Will you be watching next Monday? I know I will.

Written by: Veronica N. Montgomery

Monday Motivation Message

“The storms of nature just like the storms in our lives are unpredictable and inevitable. We sometimes assume that there will be elements of life over which we have no control. Never assume! If we are prepared for elements presenting themselves in our daily lives (some of which we may control), we can weather the storms.

Some of our personal storms are preventable because we create them through our actions and thoughts. For those that are preventable, it is important that we assess how and to what extent we create these events. Often we can minimize the damage or in many cases eliminate the storms altogether through our thoughts! I was once told “you think too much”. At first, I took this a bad compliment until I realized its not how much you think but what you think that can make all the difference.

Think positive! Enjoy the sunshine and think good weather conditions into existence. Always strive to create calmer conditions in your life. Do damage control! Remove yourself emotionally from areas where your exposed to rain spawned from storms created by others!! Nevertheless, always be prepared to weather the storms of your creation and take responsibility for creating them. Have a calm and sunny week.”~Ty

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Copyright 2011 by Ty’s Monday Messages. All rights reserved.

 
 

Juvenile Violence

Juvenile violence was once assumed to be customary within urban communities. It was not until the highly publicized high school shootings in suburban communities that society began to rethink their stereotypes and began focusing on the causes of juvenile violence. Juvenile violence garnered national attention when the Columbine travesty occurred, thus, juvenile violence became a true epidemic. It was from this point that juvenile violence was no longer perceived as an urban phenomenon but a national epidemic. That is, it exposed the world to a hidden truth that juvenile violence exists outside of the urban world.

There have been several studies, roundtable discussions, proposed bills and town hall meetings addressing juvenile violence. If we understand the plethora of reasons as to why an adult may commit a crime, I’m certain we can finally understand why a child would follow down that very same violent criminal path. I found that the Social Learning Theory best explain juvenile violence for it posits that juvenile violence is “indirectly and/or directly learned through observation, imitation and modeling, then reinforced through social networks”. The social learning theory is imperative because it explains human behavior in terms of “continuous reciprocal interaction between cognitive, behavioral, and environmental influences”.

We know that all behaviors are learned for the environment in which we live determine whether or not our behavior will be for the good or bad. There are a lot of underlying factors that play a pivotal role in juvenile violence but I’m touching on the basics of the social learning theory. For example, when looking at black male inner city youths, they often aspire to be drug dealers. Why? Well, drug dealers are often ostentatious. They have the desirable cars, girls, clothing, homes, etc. Now, when you take a young fatherless male child and a revered drug dealer, the probability of that child making/dealing/trafficking drugs is very high. The drug dealers take these children under their wings, sort-to-speak, and “teach” them the “game”. A lot of these males are initially in elementary school when they first learn the “game” and when they reach their teenage years they have already been to the detention center several times before they can graduate high school if they aren’t already deceased or serving a life sentence.

Currently, we are resolving juvenile violence by incarcerating our young impressionable children. Incarceration isn’t the answer. The answer is simply this…invest money into the communities because we need more effective after school programs for children and places for their parents to not only get involve with their children after school activities but to seek help for themselves. Teachers need to talk to their students and ensure that they are learning and principles need to make it mandatory that school counselors are meeting with their students on a regular basis. Church members need to involve themselves with their communities. But, most importantly, parents need to ensure that they are teaching their children properly by showing and reinforcing positive images. No child is born to commit crime rather learn how to commit crime due to displaced anger, resentment and frustration.

Written by: Veronica N. Montgomery

Determination

Life is a journey. You have to work extremely hard to pursue your dreams because you will be faced with obstacles on every level of your journey. You will encounter people who doubt your talents and intelligence. You cannot determine your future based on your current circumstances. You cannot base your life decisions on others opinions whether they be family or friends. I know that we all want the support of our friends and families, but, sometimes, you have to step out on faith and do what is in the best interest of you, for the most important person that need to believe in and satisfy you, is yourself. You have to remain prayerful and determined; but, most importantly, you have to be patient. You have to learn along the way. Keep an open mind. Be a sponge and soak up the good and the bad because in the end it will catapult you into a better and stronger individual.

At times we have asked ourselves, “how come they made it and not me” or “what am I doing wrong”. I know it is easier said then done to suggest that we should not ask ourselves such questions, but, honestly, we will know when it is our time. At that very moment, when everything seem like it is going wrong and you feel hopeless and helpless, everything that you dreamt of, everything that you worked for and everything that you prayed for will start falling into place. Never give up. Keep the faith. Stay determined and focused on what it is that you want in life. Maintain that tunnel vision because the light at the end of the tunnel will guide you and keep you focused. Be that resilient person you know you can be. At the end of the day it is not about how many times you have fallen rather how many times you have gotten back up and kept trying. As the saying goes, “it is better to have tried and failed then to not have tried at all”.

Written by: Veronica N. Montgomery